What to Wear to a Memorial Service: Men's Guide

How should men dress to show reverence and respect at a memorial service? Should you wear a suit? How do you judge the formality of the service? When planning what to wear to a memorial service, man attendees should respect the tone and dress code.

Some memorials are very formal; others, like celebrations of life, can be casual. The differences depend on the deceased's religious traditions, the family's wishes, and the venue.

This complete guide helps you determine memorial dress codes and suggests specific attire for various formality levels. Then we cover how to adjust your clothing for the venue, the deceased's faith, and the weather. Finally, we suggest accessories that support a respectful look.

Memorial Service vs. Funeral: Does the Dress Code Change?

Memorial services are often held days or weeks after the death. Usually the service is held without the body, but cremated remains, keepsakes, or photos of the deceased may be displayed. Parks, community centers, and private homes are common locations but memorials can also take place in religious venues. The dress code expectations can be more relaxed, but not always.

Funerals are usually held within a few days of the person's passing. Often the body is presented in a coffin, casket, or shroud and the funeral takes place in a church, temple, mosque, funeral home, or at a gravesite. A clergy member usually guides funeral services. The funeral dress code is usually more formal than for memorial services.

How to Figure Out the Dress Code

Three signals help identify the dress code:

1. The invitation or obituary wording.
   
2. The venue.
   
3. The family's wishes.

If you're still unsure after identifying the three dress code signals, dress as you would for a funeral, not a memorial.

What Should a Man Wear to a Memorial Service?

Traditional Memorial Services

Traditional memorials are held in churches, temples, mosques, or synagogues; at funeral homes; or other formal venues. When planning what to wear to a memorial service, men pair dark suits with white or light blue dress shirts, solid dark ties, and black leather dress shoes.

You don't have to wear all black to a memorial service. Dark navy and charcoal suits are equally appropriate. A black tie is always fitting but men can also wear dark solid burgundy, forest green, or navy ties.

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Less Formal Memorial Services

When musing over what to wear to memorial services, men shouldn't assume the service will be casual. Some families request a more formal atmosphere; some prefer casual. Services held at a home, in a restaurant, community space, or park are usually more relaxed. Refer to the three dress code signals and get attire confirmation before you decide on a casual outfit. 

For relaxed memorial services, men wear dark blazers, dress trousers, dress shirts or fine dark knits like polos or sweaters, and dark leather dress shoes. A tie is optional.

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Celebrations of Life

What should a man wear to a memorial service that's a celebration of life? These upbeat memorials emphasize joyfulness so the attire is usually casual. Families may even request themed attire or bright clothing. 

Men should wear a relaxed but polished outfit such as khakis or chinos, a polo or collared shirt, and clean well-kept shoes. A tie is generally optional. However, ties and pocket squares are an easy way to honor a color request. Unless the family specifies beach attire, avoid wearing shorts, tank tops, and flip flops. 

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Adjusting for Venue, Weather, and Faith

• Cold weather services: For winter memorials, wear a dark overcoat over your suit. Keep gloves and scarves in neutral, dark colors. Allow for the terrain and moisture when you choose your footwear.
  
• Warm weather: Wear lightweight, breathable fabrics. Suits in cotton or linen will keep you comfortable. If you're wearing a jacket, keep it on during the service.
  
• Religious and cultural customs: Do some research or ask the family if you're not familiar with the deceased's religious or cultural customs. 
  
  • Whether Jewish or not, men wear head coverings at Jewish services. 
    
  • Men may be expected to remove their shoes and will be expected to wear modest, loose-fitted long sleeve shirts and dark dress pants for Muslim services.
    
  • For Christian services, men wear dark suits or dress pants and a dress shirt.
    
  • Men wear a white shirt and dark trousers to a Hindu memorial. For very traditional Hindu services, men wear white. Do not wear a black suit. 
    
  • At Buddhist memorials, guests wear dark neutral colors; only the family wears white.
    

Finishing Details

• Ties: Wear understated neckties in solid, dark tones. Avoid wearing a bow tie to memorial services. Use simple knots such as the four-in-hand or half-Windsor. Consult our funeral tie etiquette for more details on neckwear. 
  
• Pocket squares and tie bars: Pocket squares and tie bars provide finish to an outfit. For memorials, keep your pocket square modest. Wear a white linen or silver silk in a simple fold. Your tie bar should be a minimalist style that doesn't draw attention but looks refined. 
  
• Shoes, belt, and socks: Wear clean and polished shoes. Preferably wear black shoes to memorials. You'll achieve a cohesive look when you match your dress socks color to your trousers, match your belt color to your shoes, and match your belt buckle metal to your tie bar metal. 
  
• Fit and grooming: Fit is essential. Have your clothing tailored if necessary. Refer to our shirt size guide for tips on getting your collar, sleeve, and torso measurements right.

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Memorial Service Attire FAQs

Is it OK to wear jeans to a memorial service?

Jeans are only OK to wear to a memorial service when the family explicitly asks for casual dress. Still, wearing chinos or khakis is considered a more respectful choice. 

If you do wear jeans, make sure they're clean, well-fitted dark denim without distressing. Add a blazer or quality wool cardigan to elevate your jeans, a collared shirt, and polished leather shoes.

You shouldn't wear jeans to formal funeral homes, temples, or churches. Also, if you participate in the service or sit in the front rows, avoid wearing jeans. 

Do men need to wear a tie to a memorial service?

Ties are expected at traditional memorial services. Wear a silk tie in a solid dark color or a very subtle, muted dark pattern.

A tie is optional for casual memorials or celebrations of life. Wearing a tie always shows effort and respect. Cotton and linen ties in dark colors blend well with casual attire; silk ties will be too formal. Bow ties are considered a more festive style of neckwear so avoid wearing a bow tie to a memorial.

When you're not sure about neckwear, default to wearing a tie. You can always take it off if you notice that others aren't wearing ties. Another strategy is to tuck a tie in your jacket pocket. Upon arrival, if you notice most men are in ties, duck into the men's room to slip on your tie. For memorial services, it's always better to be overdressed than underdressed. 

What should you not wear to a memorial service?

For traditional memorial services, never wear anything that could be interpreted as disrespectful or flashy. This includes athletic wear, gym clothes, shorts, political slogan or graphic-design T-shirts, sleeveless T-shirts or tanks, hoodies, cargo pants, baseball caps, sneakers or hiking boots, bright colors, bold prints, sandals, large logos, or branded clothing. Avoid mirrored sunglasses, sparkly jewelry, and heavy cologne.

Celebrations of life and some casual outdoor memorial services are intended to be happy, joyful occasions that commemorate the deceased's life. If the deceased requested, or the family specifically asks guests to wear specific clothing, it's okay to break the traditional attire rules in order to honor the deceased's and family's wishes. 

The family will inform guests when casual attire and certain colors are expected. In those cases, shorts (tailored, closer to the knee) or jeans, sandals, sneakers, or even beach wear is appropriate if the family specifically mentions that you should wear those casual items.

If jeans are specified, make sure they're well-fitted, dark, and not distressed. Add a few tasteful and subtle accessories to complete your outfit. 

Dressing with Respect for Any Memorial Service

Use the three signals to dress with confidence and reverence at any memorial service. Tune into the invitation wording, respect family wishes, and match the formality of your attire to the venue.

A dark suit and solid black tie are worth owning before the need arises. Should you have to attend a future memorial service, you'll have a respectful and dignified ensemble on hand without even having to think about it. 

The Tie Bar's beautifully designed, quality dark suits and jackets are perfect for casual and formal memorial services. To complete your polished outfit, select from our range of dark toned solid silk ties, pocket squares, and tie bars.

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